Totally not click bait
by Fu3kMyW1f3
Summary: The best story you will ever find on this website ... I mean seriously read books people...
1. Her precious

"Can I sell a used dildo." A girl asked as she walked towards the counter.

"Sure," the guy behind the counter replied as he smoked on a cigarette. "I'll pay ¥5 for it."


	2. Blast from the past

An eight year old girl walks up to the counter. "Can I sell Justin Bieber's used tampon?"

The overweight 40 year old man who was behind the counter looked at the iteam in the girls hand. His eyes glittering with glee. "I will give you ¥20!" He yelled.


	3. Friends forever

A seven year old Sakura dragged a seven year old Naruto into the pawn shop.

"I want to sell his virginity!" She declared.

The man behind the counter raised an eyebrow. "¥50."


	4. Brothers love each other

Sasuke walked into the Pawn shop dragging his brother behind him. "I would like to sell my gay brother as a prostitute!"

The man behind the counters shrugged. "¥0.05."


	5. Kage's dilemma

An old man where white robes and a red hat that covered his face walked into the Pawn shop.

"I've heard rumours that you have an Uchiha working as a prostitute here." He began.

"What about it." The fat hippo of a man behind the counter snarled.

"I would like to buy him so he can return to work as a shinobi."

"... ¥1000."


	6. Oh no! Its a godzilla attack!

"As Kage of this village I order you to let me have my shinobi baxk for no more than ¥50!" Hiruzen barked at the shop keeper.

"¥900!" The shop keeper replied haughtily.

"¥75." Hriuzen bargained through clenched teeth.

"¥800!"

Meanwhile, as Hiruzen and the Shop Keeper who has no name argued Naruto went super saiyan mode by injecting the food of the gods -ramen- into his blood to be able to fight Godzilla, a monster created by Orochimaru with the sole purpose of destroying the leaf village.


	7. Bidding begins!

Orochimaru walked into the store, unaware of the damage godzilla and Naruto were doing in there fight. "I would like to buy Itachi-kun." He purred, surprising the shop keeper and kage who were still arguing about prices.

"Orochimaru you traitor! I'm going to arrest you!" Hiruzen shouted at the same time the shop keeper smiled and said. "2000¥."


	8. Edgymaru, the adventure beggins!

Edgymaru Piont off Veiw

There I was, buying Itachi-chwan, then he looked me in my edgy eyes and asked, "are you my daddy?," i smiled.

"What cunt, ill smash you ya brother fuka," Edgymaru said.


	9. Edgymaroo the adventure continooes

The hokage staired at iTahci and Edgymaroo. "Yo'ure his daddy!"

Edgymaruoo staired black. "Ya wot cunt."


	10. Edgymarouo An Interlude

Edgymarooo stayred at its chyld with ukntoald lov in its eye **BALLs**. "Youre' the Mimmisooda Univerisity of darck seckrets."

ItaHchi stayred back at his daddy and titlted his head. "But Daddy I-

" **SHOUT THE FWUCK UP. NOOBOUDY LOV YOO FATT FWUCK!** " Edgymarooooooooooo Screamed.


	11. Soappy soap sooaps

Edgymaruou staired striaght intwo the eies of it's loywal subjeect Kabuuto-chwan. "Dropp the soaop boi!"


	12. Cabage Charlotte For Dinnor

Kabuto pondered what Lord Edgymaru had ordered of him the previous night, "Drop the soap?" mumbled Kabuto, "But I dont shower, its against my religion," Kabuto continued, but as Kabuto was wondering about the signficants of last nights encounter, he heard a knock on his window.

Kabuto peered out his window, and to his surprise he seem Narumty Dumty, Naruto's half brother who had suffered at the hands of a shape changing jutsu and now resembled a egg more than a man, a sad fate but it was his and he was painfully aware of that, but recently he had heard rumours of a way to revert his form, but there was only one issue, the cure can only be found in the Ancient Catacombs of Cetik, a now lost ancient burial sight holding great treasures and lost knowledges, but most importantly knowledge of forgotten medicine to counter curse jutsu.

"Narumpty Dumpty, what sre you doing hear,you know that master Edgymaru can't stand the sight of your sperical body, it reminds him of his lost brood," Kabuto shouted quietly.

"I know that the mere visage of my grotesque body disturbs you master, but I come here today with a request of one so noble as yourself," Narumpty Dumpty says, before pausing for dramatic effect, "Please,escort me to the Cata-"

"No, I have house cleaning to do, because Edgymaru refuses to, and Naruto killed all our other lackeys, so I'm kind of forced to clean up, and I have to put the washing out to dry and start preparing dinner," Kabuto interjected, Narumpty Dumpty seemed shocked, so shocked that he FUCKING EXPLODED, THIS CAUSED A SOUND LOUD ENOUGH TO RUPTURE MORTALS EARDRUMS AND CRACK THE VERY EARTH, but Edgymaru was hungry, "Whats for dinner Kabage-Kun," questioned Edgymaru, Kabuto responded "Omlette,".


	13. A plane enacted

The unnamed shopkeeper (Ted Evans) staired at the ruins of his beloved pawn shop. It had been destroyed in the epic 1v1 gamer moment that Naruto had with Godzilla. "I will enact my revenge!"


End file.
